Who do you say you are?
If someone were to ask you that what would you say? Would you say “I’m an attorney, or “I’m a basketball player” or “I’m a musician.” If someone were to ask me before, I would say “I’m a wife and mom.”
After my husband and I separated, I didn’t know who I was. I was a wife for so long. I remember walking down the aisle at the grocery store, reaching out to grab my husband’s favorite foods, and then remembering we were no longer together and putting his favorite food back, reluctantly.
I remember when I was younger all I wanted to be was a wife and mom. I felt since I was not really someone’s wife anymore that my identity was stripped away. It was depressing and lonely. People would tell me “Just focus on yourself.” And, “What do you like to do?” Well, that sounded like great ideas, but I didn’t know what to focus on, or what I liked to do.
For so long all I would do was go to my husband’s sport games, or watch whatever he was watched on TV. (I know this sounds pathetic.) But looking back, I put so little effort into myself. I put all my energy into my husband that I neglected myself and that is unhealthy.
Before you are a daughter, or a son, or a sister, brother or husband, or an entrepreneur, you are a child of God. You know what God says about your identity?
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be
I had to learn that after what I thought was my identity was stripped away from me that “wife” was just one facet of who I was. My whole self was wrapped up in that word, wife.
You know what I discovered? I am a daughter of the one true King. That is who I am foremost. Yes, I am a secretary, yes, I am a mom, but that is not my identity. I had to go to God’s word and read what He says I am. Only then could I come to terms that even though wife may not be relevant to me anymore, I am still beloved by the greatest Father of all time.
In fact, He sent his son to die for you. That’s how much He loves you. I will leave you with one last scripture to think about.
Isa 49:16 “Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”
If your identity rests in your career, or your “title” I urge you to read what The Lord says about you. He loves you so much, even without that Ph.D.