When Your Enemies Bless You

Throughout my marriage my in laws, although “nice” on the surface were a thorn in my side.

I have a memory of my mother in law telling my soon to be ex husband as we were leaving on our honeymoon “Make sure you call me as soon as you get there.”

They acted more like wayward children than my idea of how in laws should act.

Well, fast forward 15 years later and my ex was gone. The first month that he was gone I was wondering how I was going to support myself and my three kids, and keep us in the same place we were living. I remember my stepdad telling me we would have to move in with he and my mom.

My sweet cousin offered a room in her house where my kids and I could stay. Unfortunately, it was a bit of a ways away from my job and the kids’ schools.

One day my mother in law came to visit me and we were having a conversation and got into an argument. She blamed me for a lot of things that had happened in the marriage, and for the reason that he was gone. Shortly after that she wrote me an apology letter. I remember reading it, and holding unforgiveness in my heart. I decided things wouldn’t be the same with us EVER AGAIN.

I still can remember coming home after a busy day at work on that day and finding an envelope with cash under my doormat.

One thousand dollars in cash. Enough for me to buy food, pay my monthly bills, and pay my rent. The money showed up under my mat for 20 months, always in a blank envelope, always on the last day of the month.


Matthew 5:44
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.


Wow, did you read that scripture? Pray for those who persecute you? Not tell them off, or blow them off, or try and get even with them. Pray for them. I was always pretty good at ignoring or not dealing with people after they upset me, and definitely not forgiving them. I can still remember offenses from 30 plus years ago. My motto was “Don’t ever forget how they treated you.”


Recently, while going over the divorce papers, my ex and I were having a heated discussion about bills. He blurted out “My parents gave you money to pay for things.”

Umm, what? I asked him if his parents were the ones who had given me all that money when he was gone.

I was able to find out the men’s group that my ex had been a part of had taken up a monthly donation for me and my kids, and it was my in laws idea.

Even after his mom and I had gotten into that argument, and even though I held unforgiveness in my heart and she apologized to me. Even though 10 years had gone by and I vowed to myself I wouldn’t forget that argument we had gotten into.

I was humbled. I was ashamed of myself. I had wasted ten years of my life holding unforgiveness and bitterness and a grudge.


Romans 5:8-10
“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through Him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to Him thorough the death of His son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life!”

I am a sinner, and God forgave me for my sins. Yet, I was holding unforgiveness against others, and not accepting a genuine apology.

I am forever grateful to that men’s group for their support and I often think of the people that anonymously gave to us. I hope one day I will get to say thank you in person.

And I will never forget God’s provisions for my children and I. He had a plan before I even knew what was ahead of me.

Looking back now I am ashamed I let the enemy get the better part of me for all those years. The things that were said and done to me is in the past and I wish my prior in laws nothing but the best. I even miss them.

Ephesians 4:26
“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your anger.

Are You Preparing to Die?

In 1 Kings 17 it talks about a widow that had no food in her house, and her debtors were coming to take her son.  It says she was preparing a meal for her and her son and they were preparing to die.  The widow was gathering sticks when she met Elijah the prophet.

            1 Kings 17:10 So he arose and went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” 11 As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”

12 “As surely as the Lord your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”

13 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’”

15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah.

When I reflect on these scriptures I think about how many times I prepared to die.  I faced circumstances that seemed unsurmountable .  After my husband left I didn’t think I could make it through life without him and with three kids.  The challenges of work life, home life, and lack of money seemed too much for me.  

Not too long ago I had just gotten paid and the money was gone before I knew it. I was so frustrated and told God “You said you would provide for me and I don’t think you’re doing a good job of that.” It brings tears to my eyes now, that I doubted God for one second. Well, two days later I was walking into church, and a young woman came up to me and said that she had gotten an unexpected check in the mail from a car accident years before, and the Lord had put me on her heart. It brought tears to my eyes, and I was quite emotional and it took me quite a few minutes to compose myself and walk into church.

If you feel hopeless, I urge you to cry out to Jesus.  Ask Him for help, tell him what’s on your heart.  Are you in debt? Are you too tired that you feel like you can’t go on another day? Are you sick? Did your relationship just crumble? Sometimes life just runs us over, and it seems that we can’t go on anymore.  

But you know what? There is hope.  There is always hope.  It says in Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  

He can turn your circumstances around suddenly, and nothing is too great for Him.  If you haven’t asked Him for help, I urge you to cry out to Him today, and watch Him show up in your life.  

The Hardest Decision I Ever Made Was to Follow Jesus

I look at the title of this, and I cringe.  Following Jesus should be fun, and easy.  You would think everything in your life would get better, your bank account would be overflowing, and all your problems would go away.  That didn’t happen when I made my decision to follow Him.  

Matt 16:24 ESV Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

What does this mean? For me it means when I want to give up I remember the scripture  Philippians 4:13  NKJV “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  When I look at my bank account that says I have .67 cents in it, I trust His word  that says Philippians 4:19 “And my God will supply all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

When I get sad and depressed and I don’t want to get out of bed, and I think about my husband sleeping in his new bed, in his new apartment, I give the situation to God, and try not to do what I would have done in the past which is try to get back at him, or make him jealous.  I remember when I told God that He could have my marriage, and everything I had was His. Even when my heart hurts so bad and I cry until I have a hard time breathing, and my eyes are puffy I recall Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”

God has a plan and a hope and a future for me, and you too. 

Following Jesus means that I get to witness his goodness in situations.  Everyday, I see His hand in my life, and the lives of others around me.  I see His goodness when I only had a few dollars in my bank account, and the person at Chick-fil-A  told me she paid for my food.  I see His beauty in every sunrise, and sunset when I marvel at the beautiful golds and reds, and different shades of pink.  I see His goodness when I get to pray for someone, and they have hope in their eyes, and look so much more hopeful than when I first saw them.

Every single day I have to make decisions in the little things like holding my tongue when I really want to tell someone what I REALLY think,  when my alarm goes off in the morning and I have to decide, am I going to sleep in, or am I going to spend some quiet time before the kids wake up and read God’s word?

Following Jesus doesn’t mean everything in my life got easier, and I don’t struggle.  But following Jesus gives me a hope that I didn’t have before. It means that His Mercies are new every morning, and forgiveness is always available for me.  Following Jesus means that everyday is a surprise, and I get to see His hand in my life, and the lives of those around me, His Goodness, Grace, and Love, and that is why I wake up everyday hopeful and press on, and why I made the decision to follow Jesus.