Well, the holidays are officially here. The time of year I have been not looking forward to, and dreading. As I overhear others talk about their plans for celebrating , or going on a quick getaway with their husband I get a small pain in my heart knowing my husband won’t be here with us.
It’s been ten months now since we separated, and every single day has been lonely for me without my husband’s presence. Some days are better than others, and I do feel like my heart is healing, one day at a time.
Daily, I am reminded of my blessings.
I am thankful for the cold water that comes out of my refrigerator whenever I am thirsty. I am thankful for my car that takes me to work in the mornings.
I watched a video the other day on Facebook. It was about a young quadriplegic man. He couldn’t turn himself over in bed, or shower by himself. His mom carried him to the shower, and washed him. Then she shaved his face and got him dressed. She would put a bag on his bottom when he needed to go to the bathroom. As I sat and watched the video I couldn’t stop crying, and feeling thankful for my health and ashamed that I had a pity party for myself.
I am thankful for my loved ones that surround me. Two days before Thanksgiving I found out that one of the moms on my son’s basketball team passed away from cancer. She was in her 50’s, and leaves behind five children.
So when I start to feel slightly sorry for myself I think about all the things I have to be thankful about. Even though my husband wasn’t here this Thanksgiving, and won’t be here for all the Christmas celebrations, I am grateful that I will be surrounded by my kids, relatives, and friends, and that I can celebrate the birth of Jesus freely.
Most of all, I am thankful that God sent His only son to die for my sins, and yours too.
When I started to feel sorry for myself today, I pulled up at a stoplight. The car in front of me had a license plate holder that said “Jeremiah 29:11.”
NIV: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I know the holiday season can be lonely, and full of expectations that may not be fulfilled. I find that what helps me take the focus off myself is helping others in some way, staying in His word, taking a walk, and listening to praise music, or an encouraging podcast.
I’m praying you all have a safe and joyous remainder of the year, and stay focused on the most important person of all, Jesus.